Peace and Quiet

Praise God! We have had a quiet, mostly uneventful day today in the NICU. God must have known that this was exactly what we needed. The girls are both doing well.

Praises for Today:

• Their blood cultures have continued to come back negative for infection.
• The berium enema that Cameron had has made her go to the bathroom pretty much all day...so hopefully her ultrasounds will begin to come back normal again. Her belly is measuring well.
• Reagan is doing fabulous on the vent and is not relying too heavily on it to breathe for her.
• Neither of the girls had to be given a blood transfusion today and they were able to lower settings for both girls on the vent today.
• Reagan was given a diuretic today and has subsequently also used the bathroom all day today.
• Both girls have been back to their active spunky selves today - giving the nurses a run for their money by pulling on tubes.
• Both girls have been off the Billi lights for a couple of days now.
• Reagan gained an ounce from yesterday to today (now that may be different now that she is using the bathroom like crazy!). I believe that Reagan now weighs 1 lb. 10 ounces and Cameron is 1 lb. 8 ounces (also may have changed since she too has been using the bathroom.)

Prayer Requests:

• Reagan's last dose of the medicine for her PDA is today. Please continue to pray that the medication works and she does not need surgery. If it does not close, please pray that she will do well with the surgery and that God would guide the surgeon's hands to keep her safe and sound. She has an echo scheduled for Friday.
• Cameron has her 2nd dose of medicine for her PDA today. Please pray that her body would be receptive to the medication and that hers would close. She too has an echo scheduled for Friday.
• Cameron will continue to have belly ultrasounds and x-rays. Pray that things will clear up and that her body would be able to have time to grow and heal.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support. My prayer will also continue to be that things would continue to stay quiet and uneventful - unless they are good events of course!

Miracles for Today

Today was a big day and upon arrival the nurse practitioner met me in the scrub room before I even entered the NICU. "I just wanted to prepare you for the changes that have happened since you were here last night." I was mortified but God gave me strength and she went on to say that they found that Cameron also has a PDA (a small one) and needed to take medicine for it. They also said that her x-rays and ultrasounds on her stomach were still looking suspicious so they wanted to do a berium enema (spelling?) to color things in her abdomen so they could get a better look at things. They would know this afternoon to get the results. On the positive side, Cameron's head ultrasound came back clear (no bleeds!).

She went on to say that Reagan had a tough night and morning and they had to put her back on the vent. Because they were busy with her procedure they had to wait on her ultrasound. So, we had to call back this afternoon. Reagan has had a much needed rest today on the vent and she is doing great. She takes her second dose of the medicine to hopefully close her PDA as well (hers is a small - moderate). Reagan will have another echo on Friday to see if the medication can work. Her last dose of medicine is tomorrow night. So far both girls blood cultures have been negative for infection and they will continue to watch those for about another day.

I spoke to the doctor and asked why some babies get to go home with their small PDA's and she said that those babies are much older in gestation and that with our babies, even a small PDA is significant.

This afternoon we called back to hear good news - Cameron does not have any anatomical obstructions in her bowels and it looks like some of the miconium (the baby's first bowel movement) seems to be stubborn. They are hoping that the enema will help to loosen it up. Reagan's head ultrasounds also came back normal.

I am so unbelievably amazed at how God has answered prayer today and even though I know that we are praying big things, He is a big God who is involved in all things big or small. I praise him so much for the positive things we have found out today. The continuing prayer requests are that God would allow for both girls' PDA's to be closed with medication. That infection cultures will continue to be negative. That Cameron's x-rays and ultrasounds would improve to continue to hopefully show that there is nothing else going on.

Today's Update

Quick Notes:

• Both girls are on antibiotics.
• Both girls are off the Billi Light
• Both girls gained weight last night.
• Cameron still has stomach issues. She won't be given milk until she's better...probably a few days....3-7 maybe...depending on how antibiotics work.
• Reagan's PDA has gone from a moderate size to a small/moderate size. Therefore, they're still giving her medication, and if it doesn't improve soon, she will need to have surgery. Reagan cannot have milk until this is fixed.
• Reagan opened one of her eyes today for the first time!
• It looks like Cameron sleeps with one eye open...just like daddy.
• Both girls will have head ultrasounds tomorrow AM.
• Cameron will have an X-Ray on her stomach tomorrow AM.

Thanks for your encouragement and prayers!!!

-Seth & Leslie

Specific Prayer Needs of Our Girls

"Welcome to the roller coaster of being in the NICU. This will probably not be the last time you cry, it is completely normal and understandable." That is what I was told tonight as I stood in the NICU having my first (I hope not of too many) breakdown of uncontrollable crying...which coincidentally has not really been able to stop since. I think that my crying has a lot to do with lack of sleep, hormones, and medication as well but I just couldn't help it.

Both girls were sleeping today when we got to the NICU and as much as I wanted to sit and talk to them and watch them for hours, they probably need their rest to be able to grow and do what they need to do. I can only imagine what their daily activities must do to their energy stores and that they probably need tons of rest. When we first got there I stopped off to see Reagan and spoke with her nurse. She told me that Reagan needed some extra caffeine today and they had to do something to help her pH in her body...she said she would get the nurse practitioner to explain it to me. Instead a doctor came and spoke with us and she explained that because Reagan's heart murmur (a.k.a. PDA) has not yet closed off, they have had to do some things to balance things in her body. She should have an ultrasound of her heart tomorrow and we are hoping to hear around 2 how things are looking. If her PDA has not closed, then they will attempt to treat it with medication one more time and then the next step would be surgery.

For a couple of days, Cameron has had a distended stomach and bowel. One nurse called the way it looked as "loopy." The nurse practitioner said that this could be due to the fact that she had not had a bowel movement since birth or it could be signs of something else going on in her stomach. They gave her a "chip" and she had a bowel movement last night. Then, she had an x-ray today. There is still some concern about her stomach and intestines, so they have given her another "chip" to see if she still just needs to go to the bathroom more. If not, then, there may be something else going on. This was not new news tonight but I guess I thought that things maybe had gotten some better yesterday. The good news is it has not gotten worse. However, the big I word "infection" is such a scary word when you are dealing with such teeny tiny babies.

After talking with the doctor I went over to go and visit Cameron. She was laying on her tummy but I looked in her incubator and there she was looking right at me. Her beautiful eyes. I stood there and talked to her and told her how much I loved her and missed her since yesterday. As I talked to her I began to get overwhelmed with how much I loved her and how helpless I felt and how much I would do to ensure that she was not in pain and that she could just work on growing and getting better and I just started to cry and had to walk out of the room. Oh how I pray that using the bathroom is the solution to the problem and not an infection of some sort. I know that God is in control and He has had His hand in everything so far but for some reason I still continue to think that I am in some way in control of all of this and can do anything about it. The truth is, the only reason that our girls are even here is because God has had control since the beginning and I have to keep reminding myself of the miracles that He has given us and the ones that He is even doing right now despite the setbacks or worries that may be in front of us for the moment.

So, I know that all of you are praying already but if you wouldn't mind praying specifically I would appreciate it.

Reagan - pray that her PDA closes with medication and that she does not need surgery. she has an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning

Cameron - please pray that her stomach/intestinal issues are resolved and that she doesn't have an infection...please also pray that if things are not resolved that she would respond to whatever form of treatment the doctors feel necessary

Our First Diaper Change

Well, today was our first day actually traveling to the nicu and seeing the girls. I am still healing and trying to get used to being at home. It was amazing to be at home with Aubrey last night. I was only away for a week and a half and it seems as if she grew by leaps and bounds since I was last at home. I called the NICU twice last night to check in on the girls - I had a hard time with knowing that I couldn't just wake up and go downstairs to check in on them at anytime. The nurses were very understanding.

Anyway, today was an amazing visit. We got to the NICU and both girls were doing great! They had really good nights. Reagan is no longer under the billi light for jaundice but we were told that she would probably end up going back on because that is typical behavior for preemies. She has been off of blood pressure medicine for a day now. So, today the nurse asked us which one of us would like to change Reagan's diaper - Seth quickly responded - "Leslie does!" So, I started on one of the most exciting and yet scariest moments of my life! Here is a picture of the first diaper change along with a new picture of Reagan. She is still on the CPAP machine but the nurse was doing her assessments when we took the picture. I think she looks like a miniature version of Seth!

Cameron is doing well. She is under the billi light still but her levels are getting lower. I like to call it her tanning bed. Today Seth and I sat just staring at her for the longest time and watched her stretch and move. She was so funny with her mask that she has to wear to cover her eyes. She loves to grab onto it and move it all around. She has had a much more uneventful day than yesterday - yesterday she had to have a PICC line put into her arm and the day before she had to have her breathing tube put back in. So, today she was just relaxing under the light. She is on less blood pressure medicine and her oxygen levels are great. Today she opened her eyes so big and we tried to get a picture of it but we couldn't get it in time. She does not appear to have a heart murmur (called a PDA). Reagan does right now but they are watching it. Here are a few pictures of Cameron - one under the billi light and the other is some shots she took while posing for her daddy!

Seth's Turn

Dec. 25th, 2008...I'm SO glad to get out of the hospital. Don't get me wrong. I LOVED the sleeper/chair convertable thing. I just feel so much more at rest at home. At the hospital people were coming in every other hour asking for you to sign stuff or getting Leslie's vitals or bringing food that we don't eat anyway. I just told a friend over the phone that I even though I'm 45 minutes away from my helpless little babies, I'm not worried. I've gotten to know the Duke nurses well over the past three days and they know what they're doing, and have a geniune care and love for our girls. The staff over there is as smart as they come, and know exactly what they're doing. But even MORE so, I CAN'T look back and see how evident God's love, care, and provision has been for us, and question that He's going to just up and quit providing for the babies. Now don't get me wrong, I know that there is still a lingering danger to our fragile girls, but one thing I've learned about God is that He Is Good. Period. All other thoughts and skepticisms lead down a worrisome road I was never meant to go down. I can think of no other god, person, hospital, or thing that I would trust my babie's life with. Nor do I think my part in this is over. I know that I still have a responsibility to pray...meaningfully and often to God. This is all a part of my growing relationship with Him. I am learning to love Leslie in a new way. I am learning to be a better partner with her, and I believe we are working together better now. Although, I'm sure she can't stand me around 2am-8am. I get cranky when I don't sleep. Anyway, Leslie just told me that I should blog and this is what I'm thinking now. Even though I'm looking at a lot of travel, extra care for Aubrey, nursing Leslie, a roller coaster ride of progress and potholes with Reagan and Cameron, and a serious lack of sleep, I have NOTHING to complain about. I HAVE TWINS! I've always wanted twins. God is growing me up. God is strengthening our marraige. This is an adventure. Complaints would just be a waste of time. Worry would just be an insult to God. I am living life in the here and now, and excited about where God is taking me.
Ohh, and one more thing. I stink at compassion and charity. I know this now because I've been given SOOOO much of it lately, and I realize how little of it I give out. Leslie and I both have. People have given us a freezer, tons of food, gas cards, gift cards, cash, letters, emails, phone calls, and prayers...oh the prayers mean so much. People have done so much for us. WHO ARE WE TO DESERVE such compassion and charity?! People we hardly know have given us a piece of their time, heart, or checking account. I am learning so much. If, when my turn comes to extend a hand, heart, or dollar, and I don't...I want to drag me out in the street and beat me down. Or maybe just say, "Hey Seth...your turn to step up." Yeah, that sounds better. Anyway, I'm talking too much now. Thankyou all for your love!!!

Update on the Girls

As I sit here at 3:00 in the morning on Christmas Eve, I cannot believe what a Christmas miracle we have been given. At times it still doesn't feel quite real until I look at the girls in their incubators (not sure if that is the correct term for them) - then reality hits very quickly. Since they have been born the girls have done pretty well for their gestational age. One of the nurse practitioners told us that they don't realize that they are as premature as they really are. So far I have been able to go and see them three times. I hope to be able to spend lengthier amounts of time with them tomorrow and just sit and talk with them instead of just dropping by for quick updates. Each time we go it seems as if days have gone by because we are filled in on so much that has happened since the last time we visited.



My room was a revolving door yesterday with so many different doctors and hospital personnel yesterday! One particular highlight was that my parents brought Aubrey up to visit (she cannot see the girls because she is too young). She walked in with an "I'm the Big Sister" shirt on and it was precious! We are practicing saying Reagan and Cameron's names so she will be ready when the girls come home! I have to admit that I am glad to be going home to be with Aubrey but am not looking forward to being so far away from the babies. But God has worked things out so beautifully for us so far, so I have to believe that He will do no less for what lies ahead.



As far as particular medical updates on the girls, it all seems like a blur - partly because there is so much that we hear about and partly because I am still so exhausted. Tuesday the girls were having some trouble regulating their blood pressure and as of our last visit, they are doing much better. All blood pressure readings are within normal range and their medication levels are very low (if they are even on any medication for that right now). As far as their breathing, both girls were on a breathing tube yesterday but were doing so well that they wanted to try them on the CPAP machine. Last night when we visited, they had placed Reagan on the machine and she was not doing as well as the staff was hoping for, so they were thinking they may place the breathing tube back in. Cameron has probably been placed on the CPAP tonight but if not, they will probably try her on it today. Currently Cameron's blood levels do not indicate that she is jaundiced but the staff suspects that this will change so they have all the things needed to set up the billi light (not sure if I spelled that right). Cameron's nurse said that her lungs sound 100% better at last check than they did when she first arrived - praise the Lord! Reagan's nurse did not mention jaundice so we will check on that tomorrow. The girls are not in the same room in the NICU together - but their rooms are directly across from one another - which we are very fortunate to have...especially for a woman recooperating from a c-section and trying to walk between the babies.



I just wanted to say thanks again to everyone for all your prayers and sweet gestures during this time for our family. Once again God has truly used all of you to teach Seth and I a lesson in what having a servant's heart means. Words cannot even begin to express how humbled we have been and how thankful we are to have such wonderful people in our lives! Please continue to keep us in your prayers and we will continue to try to keep you posted as we can! Merry Christmas!

Our Girls Are Here!

Well, after a very eventful week in the hospital we found out today that the doctors felt it was time to deliver. This morning we had a growth scan to see how well the babies have been growing. Here the doctors found that Baby B had not been growing as she should have and the babies have also been having some heart rate decelerations. After further tests and considering all the information, the doctors felt that we had to act today.

So, this afternoon Reagan Noelle Carter (a.k.a. Baby A) and Cameron Hope Carter (a.k.a. Baby B) were born. Reagan weighs 1 pound 12 ounces and Cameron weighs 1 pound 6 ounces. Both babies came out crying and are doing well.

Reagan is the first picture and Cameron is the second.

After delivery we were told that Cameron's cord was extremely thin and there were several knots in between the two girls cords (the doctors said that they were like surgical knots). We now know that God definitely had a purpose in us being in the hospital so soon. We just didn't know what that was until today! All grandparens and uncles have been in to see the girls and I am hoping to get down to see them tonight.

Thank you so much for your fervent prayers. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are not out of the woods yet and have quite a long road ahead of us. I pray that the Lord will continue to give us peace and the doctors wisdom. We will try to keep you posted on new updates as we get them. Thanks again for all your love and your prayers.

The Calm Before the Storm

Well, last night was a wonderful night. Seth came up to stay with me and we had such a wonderful night. It is amazing how much you come to depend on someone without knowing it. Just knowing that Seth was on the couch in the room, I slept better than I have since I came into the hospital.

Little did I know that I would need the rest later! Seth and I went on our NICU tour this morning and were able to get a look around what will more than likely be the first home of our babies. Modern medicine is amazing when you think about. The NICU here has 50 - 55 beds in it and it is almost always at capacity. We learned about visiting rules, different breathing aids, saw firsthand what our babies will possibly look like size wise and so much more.

After that we came back and I had my first NST of the day. Well, one of the babies had a deceleration today (the heartrate went the lowest that one of our babies has ever had to our knowledge) and so the doctors put me on continuous monitor. So, for the next six hours (making it seven total) I lay on my back (I was allowed to go to the bathroom twice and allowed to shift my weight some) while they tried to monitor the babies. I didn't get to have lunch. I have what Seth would call lupper (lunch and supper together) at 7 finally. I still have to have another NST tonight before I go to bed and I pray that this one will be very uneventful and that the babies will cooperate. Bless their hearts, they try to hide and kick the monitors off because they do not like it so I know that seven hours straight really agitated them.

Once again the doctors and nurses were so nice. And yes, we are here for this reason - if something was to happen - then we would need to be monitored. I told Seth tonight before he left that I was feeling a little discouraged because I really want to make it to 32 weeks and end up with 2 healthy babies. And with the ups and downs we have been having and we are only at 25 weeks - that seems so far off. He reminded me that things are not in my hands anymore. We just have to keep praying. Thank you for praying with us.

Our New Room....Again

Well, today the nurses had trouble monitoring the babies again and they decided to move us down to the labor and delivery floor. They moved us not because we are going to deliver but because the doctors that are in charge of our care and the nurses experienced at doing Nonstress tests are all right here and it is a little more convenient. So far I love the new nurses, they are so understanding and caring - not that my previous ones were not. They are very positive and very knowledgeable. So for those that would need it our new room is 5719. The nurses said that they doubt that I would get moved again but the doctor said that there is always a chance. My wish for an uneventful day has not really happened but that is okay. I am very excited because I haven't been able to see Seth, my husband, since Monday and he is coming tonight. I feel almost as if we are dating again :)!

The Rollercoaster

Well, what started out as what I thought would be a very boring day proved to be quite interesting! I actually slept well last night and was ready for a restful day. The nurse came in to put my on the monitor (for a non-stress test). During the first hour one of the babies had a deceleration and so the doctors called to say to keep me on for another hour. During the first part of that hour, the baby decelled again and so they called and said they may come up and get me to monitor me in labor and delivery but to keep me on in the meantime. Well, so another hour or so goes by and they still didn't come but the babies seemed to be doing better. Tonight the monitoring session went long as well. Once again today I was reminded that this is our purpose in being here. It was like affirmation from the Lord. I was also reminded in my Bible study today about one of the names of God - Protector. He is not only the protector of my girls but the creator of my girls. I could not ask for them to be in better hands - so when I get nervous I am trying to call on that name of God to give me strength so that I do not worry. I am also very blessed by having some amazing nurses! The one that I had tonight in particular was so loving and understanding and wanting to be sure that my mind was at ease about the babies.

I also got a wonderful surprise tonight. A friend that I met through an online support group about momo twins had her twins here yesterday and she and her husband asked me to come to the nicu to see their new baby girls. They were beautiful. I was so humbled by how large the nicu was and then yet again at how amazing that we have the medical knowledge to help so many babies in so many different capacities. As we walked through the nicu I saw so many teeny tiny feet and hands, it was unbelievable. I can't imagine having babies that small but realized tonight that that is exactly what we are praying for - for our babies to make it far enough to be 32 weeks and to be delivered healthy and safely. I can't even imagine how small they must be right now.



Well, it is time to try to get some sleep. My prayer is that not all days will be as eventful as this one and that we will get into somewhat of a groove. But should things not go that way, I am glad that we are here.

So Encouraging

I cannot say thank you enough for all the wonderful things that people have done to try to make me feel better about having to be in the hospital. Between the emails, the calls, the visits, I cannot tell you how wonderfully encouraging it has been. It makes me feel sort of normal to get messages from people!

Today was a dreary day here and my mood matched and all I had to do was check on the computer and got an instant pick me up!

The Anticipated Visit

So, I started out today really tired because we had another 3 hour monitoring session. We finished at 12:30 last night. Today has been nonstop people in my room or phone calls - which was nice because it has made the day fly by. The major person who stopped by was one of the neonatologists from the NICU. I have been dreading this visit because I figured it would be a doom and gloom meeting where I would be quoted all sorts of horrible statistics and get really upset. After seeing the cords yesterday, I wasn't sure that I was ready for it.

To my surprise it was the exact opposite. It was such a positive visit and I was so thankful for her attitude and willingness to answer any questions that we had. The good news was that at Duke they consider viability at 23 weeks so we have been viable for a week more than we thought. I also found out that survival rates are way higher than what I had dreamed up in my head. She was very realistic but also very knowledgeable. She walked me through delivery and the ins and out of the NICU. She also said that one day when Seth can be here we can call in advance and go down for a tour of the NICU together. I thank God that He knew the kind of person that I needed to come into contact with today. She truly was an answer to prayer.

Afterwards, I was invited to a lunch with other antepardum patients (those of us who are on bedrest and stuff before having a baby). Three of us showed up for the lunch - some were not up to coming or could not due to doctors orders. Both of the other women were much further along than me but it was still an uplifting time and it made me feel somewhat normal.

That being said, today we still have more monitoring and stuff but I am so thankful for how much God has provided some much needed sanity today. He always knows exactly what we need when we need it - isn't God good?

Our First BPP

Well, today the sonographer stopped by for our first BPP which stands for Biophysical Profile I think. It measures the babies movements, fluid, and their ability to practice breathing. She told me from the beginning that it is rare to see 24 week old babies practicing breathing. Then, we get a score. So, the girls looked good and scored 6 out of 8 points and the 2 points that they are missing are from the not practicing breathing. So, that is yet another answer to prayer. We did see a shot of the cords which was a bit unnerving but I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and His plan will prevail.

Funny, I kind of thought that the first few days would be the hardest being away from home. But so far I have been blessed and been able to see Aubrey, my daughter, and at least someone from my family since I have been in the hospital. My first real test is coming this week - I will not see my daughter until Friday. I have never been away from her for even a night until I was admitted. Hopefully the time will go by quickly!

Being Admitted

I figured I should post the hospital updates in a different spot. So, we were admitted to the hospital on Friday night. The doctors, residents, nurses ... everyone have been so nice. Right now I am having twice daily non stress tests to check the heart rates of the babies - a deceleration in the rate of one of the babies can indicate cord compression. I am also on modified bedrest which means I can move around the room, take a walk down the hall but other than that I have to be wheeled everywhere - which Aubrey my daughter loves because she gets to have rides on Mommy's lap. I have had my first round of steroid shots to help to promote the lung development in the girls.

Each day, with each new nurse, I hear that 24 weekers are notorious for being exceptionally difficult to find on the monitors because they still have so much room to move around. Also, we have been told that they are also notorious for having some serious heart rate variability due to their neurological development. I kind of took it with a grain of salt at first but after the first night it taking 3 hours to get both of the babies on the monitor I was pretty stressed. But I try to remember that the babies feel my stress so I try to stay calm and pray my way through the tests. So far that has helped. I was told today that around 27-28 weeks they begin to get to be a little easier to find and stay found on the monitors. If they have a lot of trouble then they will call a resident to come up with an ultrasound machine, use the ultrasound machine to locate the babies and make sure that they are okay and then they will try to hook the monitors back up to my belly and see if they can track the babies - which is still not always successful.

I guess that is about it for now. I will keep you posted as we have new tests and doctors today.

Our Journey So Far

Well, my husband, Seth, and I found out that we were expecting in July. Soon after that we were told that we had twins. We were elated. We went for our regular OB appointment at 10 weeks and we had an abnormal ultrasound. So we were referred out to see a specialist and some genetic testing to see if one of our babies had a chromosomal abnormality.

At the specialists office, we were diagnosed with momo twins. Monoamniotic and monochorionic which means that they share one placenta and are in the same sac with no dividing membrane. We were subsequently quoted that most MoMo twins have about a 50% survival rate. However, because one of our babies was showing lots of fluid on its spine and in its head, he felt that twin to twin transfusion was more the culprit of the fluid rather than a chromosomal issue because (since our girls are identical) they should both be showing the same chromosomal issues because they have the same genetic makeup. He told us that we would come back in two weeks and they more than likely would not be alive. We had a 15% chance that they would live.

We went back two weeks later and both babies were measuring almost exactly the same and all fluid had been absorbed! God had answered our prayers!

Since then, we have tried to do as much research as possible about MoMo twins but there is not a lot out there. We were told by all doctors that until you reach viability (24 weeks) there is nothing you can do to prevent any cord accidents. Cord accidents are the biggest risks that MoMos have because they can get tangled up and cut off each others life supply. This is not something that you (the mother) can feel and it can happen at any time. So, since our 10 week appointment we have been fervently praying to make it to viability.

We reached viability on December 11th. We were placed inpatient in the hospital on December 12th. Going into the hospital has been a hard decision because I have a daughter and a husband at home whom I love so much and hate to be away from them. Add to that all the holiday stuff that happens this time of year and I am missing out on quite a bit. However, when I look at the alternative - my girls are completely worth it - Did I mention we are having girls?

Anyway stay posted and I will keep everyone updated with updates from the hospital!